I recommend adding sage, pepper, and hilariousness to your holiday stuffing! These funny Thanksgiving puns will tickle your turkey with chortles!
Be That Funny Branch of the Family Tree!
These humorous musings are more than a fun way to annoy people at the dinner table. (Did I say, “annoy?” I meant delight!) You can borrow a few to amaze and impress your social media friends!
I’ll be delighted if you share this article in a social media post. Sharing is caring. And sometimes daring! (It’s not daring this time. I just wanted one more word that rhymed with caring.) Borrow all you like, and I’ll appreciate it if you give me credit for the list.
It’s time for the family patriarch to display that style of humor for which he’s famous! (In other words, Dad Jokes!)
You’ll Gobble Up These Turkey Puns and Jokes!
You and I don’t need Ben Franklin to tell us how great turkeys are! Is there a deeper well of puns and jokes than the Thanksgiving turkey? Turkeys team with funny jokes. Consider this short list of funny words associated with turkeys:
Whether a real turkey or a cartoon, turkeys even look funny. With no further ado, I’m getting to worky on these quirky turkey puns!
Will you please stop with the Thanksgiving puns?
I couldn’t quit cold turkey!
I’m never eating Thanksgiving leftovers again. Starting this very moment.
I’m quitting cold turkey!
Turkeys mesmerize me.
I can’t help but fowl under their spell!
What do we do after a Thanksgiving dinner?
We all fowl asleep.
Why was the turkey arrested the weekend before Thanksgiving?
It was suspected of fowl play.
Why didn’t the parents let the turkey near their children?
Because it used such fowl language.
What’s a turkey’s favorite dessert?
What type of glass does a turkey drink from?
What do you call a running turkey?
How do turkeys open doors?
They turn the doorknob.
These Thanksgiving Puns Have Their Fair Share of Dad Jokes!
How do turkeys unlock doors?
With a tur-key.
Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
What’s the best dance to do after your Thanksgiving feast?
The Turkey Trot.
Can a turkey jump higher than the Empire State Building?
Of course, they can. The Empire State Building can’t jump!
Looking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store,
a woman thought they were all too small to feed everyone at her large Thanksgiving dinner party.
She asked the stock boy, “Do these turkeys get any bigger?”
The employee replied, “No, ma’am, they’re all dead.”
Are these turkey jokes too fowl?
What’s a turkey’s least favorite song?
“I’m all about that baste, about that baste, no giblets.”
How did the turkey manage to survive Thanksgiving?
By staying ahead of the carve!
Why is there a fight for the first drumstick?
Everyone wants to get a leg up on the competition.
Turkeys aren’t the only birds with hilarious Thanksgiving puns.
Toucan play at that game!
What does a one-legged turkey say?
Why do turkeys always play drums?
They have drumsticks!
What would you get if you crossed a turkey with a ghost?
What did the wild turkey say to the hunter?
How is Thanksgiving Day kind of like a workout day?
It’s leg day.
How do you make a turkey float?
Root beer, a scoop of ice cream, and a turkey.
Show me the turkey!
Why did the turkey cross the road?
Thanksgiving was coming up. He wanted everyone to think he was a chicken!
Do you have any funny turkey puns? Please share them with me!
Are You Hungry for Food Puns and Jokes?
Why is Thanksgiving one of the most-loved holidays in the United States?
- Spending quality time with family or best friends?
- Because few other countries celebrate it?
- Enjoying a day contemplating gratitude?
- Consuming mountains of food at a great Thanksgiving dinner?
- A four-day weekend for many of us?
Of course not. Thanksgiving is our favorite national holiday because of the Food puns!
Making food puns is my favorite!
It can’t be beet!
Why does everyone pick the sweet potato as their favorite root vegetable?
Because it can’t be beet?
How do competitors gear up for Thanksgiving dinner?
They activate Feast Mode.
How Do you fix a broken pumpkin pie?
With a pumpkin patch!
Why is everyone relieved when the candied yams finally arrive?
Because they’re such sweet potatoes.
Why did the cranberry sauce cross the road?
To get to the other side dish.
(Or was it following the chicken?)
What happens to cranberry sauce when it listens to sad music?
It becomes blues-berry sauce.
Why was the cranberry so embarrassed?
It saw the turkey dressing!
What role does the green bean play at Thanksgiving dinner?
What do you get when you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
Thanks for pudding up with me and these holiday puns!
This corn is a-maize-ing!
This pie is proof that appley-ever-afters do indeed exist!
If your grandma saw you making boxed mashed potatoes, she’d roll over in her gravy.
Why was it hard to find the Thanksgiving ham?
It was an obs-cured ham.
Bread-y or not, here I crumb.
Roast assured, this Thanksgiving will be incredible!
You butter believe it!
What’s Stephen King’s favorite Thanksgiving dish?
Monster mash potatoes and grave-y.
It doesn’t get any butter than these hilarious puns!
I love you, from your bread to your pota-toes.
Is our Thanksgiving dinner almost done?
You ain’t seen stuffing yet.
Why can’t the potatoes and yams get along?
Because they’re agi-taters.
What should you do if nobody can hear the dinner bell?
Turnip the volume.
Who was the swashbuckling here of Swine Wars?
That’s a very impressive ham!
It would be a shame if someone put an s at the front and an e at the end.
What do you call it when you only have hot dogs for Thanksgiving dinner?
What do we do with the potatoes that I left in the oven and burnt to a crisp?
Save them for black fry day.
When will the Thanksgiving bread rise?
When you yeast expect it.
Why was the turkey so late for Thanksgiving dinner?
The chef ran out of thyme.
What did the crowd cheer when dessert finally arrived?
Whip, whip, hooray!
What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer?
A pirate buries his treasures while a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
Fun With Word Play
These will be great for Instagram captions or a Facebook post, as well as comments for any social media post.
Gobble ’til you wobble!
That’s quite the quirky turkey.
Getting the longer part of the wishbone is a snap!
Let’s give ’em pumpkin to talk about.
A lot of people were angry at me for eating the last of the mashed potatoes. Taters gonna tate!
Eat, drink, and cranberry.
I’m too blessed, and my turkey is too dressed for me to be stressed.
Much ado about stuffing.
Butterballin’ on a Budget.
Fall so hard, motherpumpkins wanna spice me.
Let the gourd times roll.
Talk turkey to me.
A Few More Playful Expressions for Your Sosh Posts
I yam what I yam!
Zero plucks given.
Stop staring at my breasts.
I only have pies for you.
Every Thanksgiving, I give my family the bird!
Silence of the Yams.
50 Shades of Gravy.
Let’s get basted.
Oh my gourd, I’m stuffed.
Keep in mind that given all of this year’s controversies, Thanksgiving dinner can get heated. And you can reheat it Friday and hopefully Saturday!
Baste. Thanksgiving. Ever!
Corny Thanksgiving Jokes and Puns
Note to Reader: I said “Corny” for a good reason. Proceed with caution.
I want to eat healthier this year, so I’m enjoying more fruits and vegetables. I’ll have some apple pie, sweet potatoe pie, and carrot cake, please!
With Coronavirus being a possible concern this year, what’s likely to be the most popular side dish?
Why do piligrims’ pants always fall down?
Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Which kind of music did the Pilgrims enjoy most?
If there were still Pilgrims alive today, what would they be famous for?
If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
Why was the Black Friday event at the Geology Museum such a resounding success?
Everything was on shale! It totally rocked!
What animal is never hungry for Thanksgiving dinner?
The turkey, because it’s always stuffed.
Why did the satchel sneak onto the Mayflower to come to America?
To escape purse-ecution.
My family always fasts for Thanksgiving.
The faster we eat, the more food we get.
What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?
Do we put up Christmas decorations too early?
We go from poul-tree on Thursday to Christmas Tree on Friday.
You Can’t Stop Dad and His Rad Jokes Now!
What’s the best whiskey for Thanksgiving?
Mom wants you to help us fix Thanksgiving Day dinner.
Why? Is it broken?
What does Miley Cyrus serve for Thanksgiving dinner?
What did the baby corn call his dad?
What do you call someone who loves corn?
What will you tell Mom after this year’s successful Thanksgiving dinner?
What did Voltaire eat for Thanksgiving?
What was the line from that Prince song about Thanksgiving?
“Because stuffing compares, stuffing compares to you.”
What were the lyrics to that Carly Rae Jepson song about Thanksgiving?
“Hey, I just met you, and this is gravy. But here’s my stuffing, so carve me, maybe.”
How does that AC/DC song about Thanksgiving go?
“Turkey meals, done dirt cheap!”
What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
What always comes at the end of Thanksgiving?
The letter G.
I hope you and your besties enjoy great laughs from these funny puns and that you have a terrific Turkey Day!
Question: Which do you think are the best Thanksgiving puns?
- Keeping the kids busy is a great way to get on everyone’s good side (or help a stressed loved one get through the day). These funny Thanksgiving jokes for kids will make you the life of the party.
- Store-bought Christmas cards can be boring and full of cliches. Spread holiday cheer and laughs with these unique and funny Christmas card sayings!
- Want to max out the fun with your loved ones this family holiday season? These Thanksgiving party games for adults and kids will entertain and engage everyone!
- Looking for something better than football and politics to serve with your feast? Delight your guests with these thanksgiving trivia questions!